Sandton and Skinny Dipping start with an S

I am back from my one day, 8 hour combined drive to and from the Drakensburg Mountains where I had to present with some colleagues (that's what I'm calling them now) at a conference.

This picture is totally unrelated, it's when we went to a friend's house in Sandton and skinny dipped in her pool. Of course, the crazy Americans were the raucous ones of the group. The one looking crazy on the far right is Ryan. This was pre his losing his everloving mind. Or maybe, he just hadn't showed his true colors yet.

Enjoy the pic!

No internet = sad me

What a weird two days!

Internet was down on campus for a little bit because a member of the staff committed suicide (literally shot himself in the head), while at work at CNS (Computer Network Services). He was just typing away at work, and then reached into a drawer, pulled out a gun and shot himself in the head. Of course, this was extremely tramautic for the whole staff and anyone around and CNS was pretty much shut down for the past two days. Everything appears to be up and running now, and today is a public holiday (Freedom Day) so I'm surprised there were some staff members working. I just found out about this incident this morning.

While the internet was done I was able to do some more thinking. Just listening to my music, reading and making designs with my lanyard. It's frightening now connected to the internet I am. I'm going to have to work on that.

I can't sleep so I'll ramble

Today was a productive day. Tuesdays are the day of the week I have classes and it always leaves me feeling both drained and motivated at the same time. My courses motivate me to study, but then I get back to the room and surf the net and I'm back to the lazy world of procrastination. I'm really comfortable there, more than I've ever been before in my life. I have never been such a horrible student. I know in the end it'll get done, but will it be any good and do I even care?

Today instead of coming back after class and falling into my usual sloth state of website browsing, I went with Ikumi to visit the Benoni club and watch her give her presentation. She's way more into these pony shows then I am. She dresses up in traditional Japanese clothing with a kimono and slippers, and she gives out prizes and sings a song. I'm just boring with slides and I like it that way. She did get a cool thermos out of it, and to be honest, that's the reason why I want to go back and present at the club. Seriously though, they were a fun group of people with interesting questions about whether Japan had "traditional Japanese buildings or ones like in South Africa that are varied", they also asked Ikumi about whether she was the norm as an independent Japanese woman, "Aren't most of the women subsurvient, and cater to their husbands." I also got a free dinner and beer. I sorta have this older sister love/hate relationship with Rotarians and their clubs. One where I think the intent is good, and I think they are cute and fun to laugh at, but I really just want to sit them down and school them about their very inappropriate and elitist behavior. In reality we know that my relationship with Rotary is more of a benefactor/benefactee relationship whereby my place is to be the eccentric student who occassionally pays my dues by providing some dinner entertainment. The other scholars want to kiss Rotary's ass. I wish they knew that it wouldn't get them more money in the long run. I oftentimes also wish I wasn't the only Black person on the whole program this year. If Sonja doesn't visit, I will go mad around these fake ass do-gooders who make me want to scream, puke, scream some more and then just eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream while watching Sex and the City in my fat pants.

Ok enough of that bullshit.

I came back and Luke stopped by so we chilled and talked about his PhD proposal for a minute. Luke is impressive because he's a born again student -- from a very academic family, almost all of his immediate family and some extended have PhDs, but he wasn't necessarily motivated to be that great of student in college. He came to South Africa on an exchange winter break program, really liked it, and decided to come back for Masters and then PhD. He's a very dedicated and focused student now (well, in between partying and drinking, of course), mainly because he likes his topic. He says, "I don't understand people who complain about school at the Master's level. They can just do something else instead of studying." And he has a point, because it is a bit annoying to always be bitching about something you spend so much time doing -- which is why I quit the horrible job in corporate America and lounged my way into bad credit before I came to SA. Now that I'm here, instead of bitching about school work, or even ignoring it, I should be focusing and relishing my free year to try to get my credit back to something decent while I get a degree of higher learning.

Fuck, that wasn't my point. My point was: I feel what Luke is saying because education is definitely a gift and a privilege, and those who have a choice usually can choose to work in the "real world" instead of spending their money going back to school. Those who are working menial jobs to pay bills and support themselves, and who would prefer to study, don't necessarily have the financial option to just quit and spend their time debating on what topic to write a paper on. After seeing Luke so focused on his topic and talking with him about his research questions, I was inspired to go back to an activity I love dearly as well: catching up on celebrity and hip hop gossip at C+D and Nah Right. Damn, I love those blogs!

And on nights like these, when I find myself unable to sleep, I like to write out all the bullshit floating around in my head. Other times, I design fictional websites. Lately I've been wishing that Ann would write another book soon so I'd have something good to read.

Happy 4.20!

I'm going to Rhino Bar, be back to report on my presentation at the Kyalami club and other adventures.

NYC eats

I love NYC pizza. I think there's none other like it anywhere. But then again, I really only like Chinese food from my spot New Kam Man on 205th Street in the Bronx. Between Hull and Perry Ave. I've not found a Chinese food place as good as that one anywhere. I'm also a fan of the Ethiopan restaurant at the Morningside Heights/Harlem border on Amsterdam avenue. And of course I'm a fan of Cabana, the Cuban restaurant on the East side at East 60th Street and 3rd Avenue.

Can you tell I'm craving a bit of home?

Other notebale restaurants:

Carmine's
Mama Mexico's

and what I wouldn't give for some wings and shrimp and a Texas Size Wildberry Margarita at BBQs. Oh, NY, NY.

Our Great Depression is our lives.

The first time I saw Fight Club was at Duane's house. He invited me over to "watch movies" (shut it) and he gave me the choice between Monster's Ball and Fight Club.

"Which do you think I'd like best?" I asked

"Monster's Ball," he replied.

I thought Monster's Ball was horrible for all the obvious reasons. I loved Fight Club because I thought the story was ingenious and the acting well done. It's also a great movie to watch when you're feeling depressed and want to get rid of your doldrums by thinking about how fucked up you really could be. (This is Nerase's common sense -- stop being melodramatic).

I stopped the movie at the lye part. If you've haven't seen the movie, I didn't spoil anything, but I will say that Myra was toned down quite a bit from the book. In the book she says to Tyler, "I want to have your abortion."

Well, stop reading this post and go rent the movie, or read the book.

Who decides what the qualities of a Scholar are?

Last night I had a great night. Chilled during the day and I decided not to go to Soweto with Luke because I wanted to be up and do work this morning. So I went out with Ikumi to a house party and had a great time. I met some new people, and it was just interesting to be in a room full of difference. We were: American, Japanese, Congolese, French, Kenyan and Australian. So cool!

Afterwards, Ikumi told me that Ryan, one of the other scholars on the program and professed "do the most good"-er in the world told her that he didn't think I was doing my duty as a Rotary scholar. Apparently the other scholars in Joburg want to take this stupid self-righteous "walk" through the most "AIDS-ridden" areas of South Africa at the end of the year to "raise awareness" about an organization called Rotarians for Fighting AIDS (or something like that).

Ryan and Keegan, who've gone to the meeting for this organization and are admittedly critical of some of the things the organization stands for, says this walk would be good for national coverage in the States. Meanwhile this Rotary organization accepts money from PEPFAR, and the speaker contested that it was important to fight AIDS because, "Today's AIDS orphan could be tomorrow's Osama Bin Laden." Ryan and Keegan are the ones who've shared this story with me.

Is there any guess why I don't want to do this walk? If we were planning to bring medicine to remote areas that are harder to reach but are in dire need of resources, I'd do it. If we were volunteering at an orphange, providing a much needed vacation for some hard workers I'd do it. Walking through South Africa, taking pictures, and only interacting with South Africans to ask for directions, is not my idea of a quality fundraiser or even a good way to use my time and labor. Not only is their project selfish and ridiculous, it's beyond easy and does nothing to engage the issues surrounding HIV/AIDS in South Africa.

Although I've not had this huge discussion with Ryan, I merely said, "no thanks" when he asked if I would join, he believes that he has the authority to dictate the terms of a scholar. Ikumi says she's worried that Ryan is going to get me kicked out of the program. I laughed in her face, and then I laughed louder because she thinks Ryan is significant in this world or to me. I asked Ikumi why Ryan didn't bring this up to me if he was so concerned, she said he's intimidated by me and finds it hard to talk to me. I laughed again. Then Ikumi asked me if I would consider making an effort to talk to Ryan and be more active in scholar activities. I kept laughing. I'm not clear on what these scholar activities are that Ryan is engaging in. Partying in Durban with other Americans and a Canadian. Chilling with his other Canadian friend who drives him around so he doesn't have to take public transportation. Oh, going out with his white South African friends to Sandton, Melrose or some other white-only Afrikaans event?

I think it's interesting how privileged white men think they can come to an African country and save it from their race's own historical rape, pillage and injustices by only interacting with their white brethen. Ryan's arrogance knows no bounds, but it'll be introduced to some very soon.

Black God, Black Prophet

Our God is black
Black of eternal blackness
With large voluptous lips
Matted hair and brown liquid eyes...
For in his image are we made.
Our God is black.
- Togolese writer R.A. Armattoe

Chant down Babylon, ya'll!!

Partying (Again)

The weekend starts on Thursdays here. We know how that goes, right folks?

Went to Yeoville again, but this time not to the police station! We went to Tandor this great reggae club and just danced and they played all the joints. It was really fun. Now I gotta go be productive and work to get some more money from Rotary by filling out my second month report.

I'm also going to get back to school work -- handed in my lit review yesterday and gonna work on those two (late) papers since a 3rd is due in two weeks!

I miss you all, thank God for email. Please send me your mailing address (you too, Anita) so I can send you a postcard.

Weekend Wrap-Up

Friday night started off a bit slow. I was being productive on the designing tip, doing some research, but didn't want to feel like a loser. So I texted some ppl and saw they were all doing different things. Went to M's room for dinner with her and K. S told me she was smoking and chillin so I went over to her place after dinner and smoked and we watched the end of Face/Off. Her boyfriend made some good french fries, and we just munched, watched the movie and talked about life. I ran into L & H after I left S's room, and we went to the PiG after running into Mbo. Drank there, went to Veer's, drank there, too. I got into an argument with Mbo about Black Label:

Mbo: "Why are you drinking Black Label - you should drink Castle. It's South African."

Me: "I don't like the taste of Castle."

Mbo: "You just like Black Label because it's from the U.S.A. and it makes you feel more at home."

Me: "Castle tastes like shit."

-- Mbo was right, Carling's Black Label is originally from the U.S. This does not change the fact that Castle tastes like shit.

While at Veer's I saw Andrew -- the very cute short guy who "likes" me. I put "likes" in quotation marks because I think Andrew is more excited about the idea of going to the U.S. He's really cute though and if he was taller, he could get it.

After Veer's, we came back to campus, went to the party near the Matrix and I tried to dance but the guys just wanted to chill in a cipher and be annoying guys. I eventually got pissed and went home. Proceeded to puke (although I only had 2 beers, and 1 glass of wine) and pray to the Lord. I was able to really understand how posionous alcohol is for one's system. After walking around for a little bit (ha!) I finally was ok enough to sleep.

Saturday Diamond called and woke me up. We talked for an hour and a half, it was wonderful! I miss you, D! I ended up going to Rosebank and meeting up with K and M. We shopped leisurely, ate, and just talked. I decided I wasn't going to Durban this Easter break. I'm not really in the mood to hang around with the crowd that's going and I can save some money and chill with the ppl I'd rather chill with right here in Joburg. I figure I'll get to Durban once Sonja comes, if not before.

About half an hour after I got back from Rosebank, L stopped by. The guys were on their way to a club in Yeoville and he didn't feel like going. So we chilled and talked for a while until he got a phone call - turns out that G got caught at a roadblock for drinking and driving and needed L to come bail him out. R800. So I went with L to pick G up. Oh what an experience. I sat in the car with W and T for about an hour, I had to pee so it was fun going to the jail and having to explain the situation. Thank God I had someone with me who spoke Zulu, or it would've been a bit awkward. When G gets out, he's just running at the mouth, in his giddy and playful way. He kept complaining about his arm. Turns out -- they took a blood sample from him. For what, we're not sure. The breathalyzer proved that he was intoxicated, so it's a bit interesting that they also wanted a blood sample. G's words for the night,

"You know, what I found most hurtful was the Xenophobia in that police station. They were totally rude to foriegners and I found that most of the people in there, arrrested, were people who weren't South African."G is from Zimbabwe.

G tried to convince the rest of us to drink some more, but I had to break it down to him -- that's what got him in his predicament in the first place. Besides, my stomach was still queasy and no one else was wanting to party by that time, either. G ended up crashing on my floor and taking my spare toothbrush (again!).

Sunday I stayed in all day doing absolutely nothing. Didn't even go back to Rosebank for groceries. I figure I'll just have to get L to go with me into Braamfontein or I'll just try to finagle a ride to Campus Square during the week.

Guess who's bizzack?

I've never sold drugs, so you won't still smell crack in my clothes but I am hoping to unleash my inner thugette with this new girly design. Since I'm looking for a place to "keep it real" outside of the "formal" blog, I've decided to redo the OG blog. Welcome back to me!

Kitchenette

Kitchenette, originally uploaded by nerase.